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Marriage License

Image by TrevinC via Flickr

Where did we get the idea that relationships are easy?

Couples fight.

There, I said it.

I got a call this morning (from someone near and dear) lamenting the latest relationship issue with the current squeeze. {sigh}  Who am I to give love advice?  I’ve been married 34 years, but I still don’t have a clue about the secret – with maybe one exception – like many things in life worth having, hard work and persistence pays off.

The English poet John Wilmot quipped “before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories” (after raising 4, can I say – how true!).  I believe relationships follow a similar path.

Before we’re in a relationship, we have romantic notions of how our love will be perfect. Then reality sets in…and everyone has theories about how to make it work….and you try to make your relationship fit some formula….and….

…in the end, just like raising children, you do what you have to do to make it work, based on your own, unique, situation…

But, inevitably, you have to do the work to make it work.  And fight. And compromise. And pick your battles. And see the good in the other. And strong coffee.

And that, my friends, is my secret to 34 years of wedded bliss.

How ’bout sharing your secret with me?